Gay men bubble butt

From Ancient Greece to Nazi Germany, a perky, juicy man ass has shaped the modern world — and our deep-seated understanding of beauty. When I was 11, I found an erotic comic that turned me into the most rapt art history student any museum could ask for. Eager for a good fuck, she hops onto that marble dick and butts it — and the following night, the statue comes to life as a Ken Doll hunk.

That anthropomorphized Renaissance cock — seared into my hormone-addled tween memory — ruined any chance I had of visiting the Metropolitan Museum of Art without getting horned up even as a grown-ass woman this time. The artists who built those wagons seemed to pay infinitesimally close attention to detail; their structure, density, firmness and hemispherical perfection lured me in.

As I found out, those cabooses were designed to provoke a specific and complex response. What else could I expect when the gay male body abides by such stringent rules of strength, virility and purity? So bounce with me, if you will, through the aesthetic, sexualized and often disturbing history of the male bubble butt.

In Greece, great ass is a legacy that goes back to men times — from the seventh century B. In this glute-centric ancient world, a bubble butt was a symbol of power and superiority. The Greek and Roman period gives us the incomparable bubble of a threefold ideal of male ass beauty: the young, petite ephebes, the trim athletes and the absolute beefcakes.

In the second or third century A. Hercules was said to be melampygosor black-bottomed, a signifier of manliness; the poet Archilocus warned against running into a black-assed man, as he could easily overpower you.

The Disturbing 3,000-Year History of the Male Bubble Butt

The Farnese Hercules has a massive upper bubble and an apple butt — literally so! He is, in fact, holding two apples in the hand resting on his lower back. It certainly looks more appetizing than the squishy peach of Call Me by Your Name. This male ideal also applied to the boy lovers of male gods. Statues of young men of this era had slender butts, thunder thighs and small perky butts — and super-creepy smiles.

Women were subject to the same standards of ass beauty. Allegedly, the statue known as Praxiteles Venus was so shapely and sensual that men jerked off both to and on it, defacing it with semen. That was as horny as the art world got for some time. Soon, Christianity came along and the human form became stylized, the gay concealed.

The situation remained quite drab through the Middle Ages. Finally, with the onset of the Renaissance, scholars, men and artists rediscovered the proportions of ancient art — and, by extension, scrumptious glutei maximi. Fast-forward to the 15th and 16th centuries. Here, after the neglect for the human form in Medieval art, there was a newly found appreciation for the naked male body.

We have to thank Donatello — for reviving the male nude sculpture in the round. Stephen Mack, a Ph.