Gay shaving

When I bring home a man, I want to see a masculine wreath of pubes around his dick, not a shaved walrus. Guys, this has to stop. The social scientists over at Gay recently published a study claiming that 95 percent of men now trim or shave their body hair in one way or another, a practice that has taken on the cringeworthy title of manscaping.

I hate it and want it to die. Presumably, many other true lovers of the male form feel the same way. Body hair is one of the secondary sex characteristics of being a man, so why would anyone want to eradicate it altogether? As shaving as it pains me to admit it, us gays are probably at fault.

During the 90s, the gay aesthetic was dominated by the plucked and preened bodybuilder look. This, of course, spread to advertising remember the billboard of shirtless Marky Mark in his undies in Times Square? There is also some shaving of gay equality in this whole equation. As men began to demand that their ladies be as shiny under their clothes as Barbie dolls, women started expecting the same of their men.

John Marsh, the owner of gay porn site Fratmen, told the Daily Beast that the guys in his videos who get their Bic on south of the border are the straight models, not the gay ones. This has gone from being something that most guys thought of as sissy to something that is thought of as a prerequisite for getting pussy.

Yeah, you might want to get an overly furry back under control no one wants to fuck George the Animal Steelebut just let the rest of it run wild. There is nothing so good as letting someone rub their hand through a Magnum PI -style pelt. The great thing about having a coat of hair is that it will cover up many imperfections.

Even worse than how prepubescent shaving makes you look is that it makes you complacent in the corporate conspiracy to turn the way we look into a consumer commodity. As I already pointed out, the main reason this disgusting practice is encouraged is because there are now products to take care of it.

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Marketing is telling men to shed their Darwinian protection against the elements, and men, stupid sheep that we are, are listening. Stand up and fight! After all, nothing gay more manly than doing what is right, not giving a fuck about anyone else, and sticking it to the man no shaving how gay that sounds. Luckily the gays and hirsute stars like Jake Gyllenhaal are making Sasquatch a thing of beauty once again.

Manhunt, the gay cruising site that your uncle uses, recently did a study that proves most homosexuals who use the internet for quick dick prefer men in their natural states. By Stephen Andrew Galiher. By Luis Prada. By Veronica Booth. By Shaun Cichacki. Videos by VICE.